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How to make your Husband Happy

Assalamu `alaikum wa rahmatullah!

This is the continuation of the summaries of the two books by Sheikh Mohammed

Abdelhaleem Hamed. The following is Part 1 of a summary of the second book

How to Make Your Husband Happy.

In the Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Most Compassionate

Assalamo Alaykom Warahmatu Ullahi Wabarakatuh


To help strengthening the Muslim families and spread the teachings of Islam

in building families, the Muslim Students' Association at the University of

Alberta prepared a extremely summarized translation for two books. The

books are Arabic by Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed. An Egyptian scholar,

Who graduated from the Islamic University of AlMadinah Al-Munawwarah in

Saudi Arabia. The two books are:

1- How to make your wife happy

2- How to make your husband happy

These are the best Arabic books I have seen on this subject. They exceed

the traditional presentation of stating rights and duties to the 'Adab (good

manners) and extend into application of these rights in daily life. The

following summary highlights mainly the responsibilities or examples of what

could or should be done. Every single item mentioned by the author is

supported by evidences from Qur'an, Sunnah or the actions of the companions,

but evidences are omitted in this translation. The following is the

translation of the SECOND book.

This translation is copyrighted to MSA at University of Alberta. Feel free

to repost it or reprint it by all means, provided that you do not make any

changes, additions, or omissions without permission.

How to make your Husband happy !! (Part 1)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following is part ONE of a summary of the book "How to make your

husband happy" by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed.

1- Beautiful Reception

----------------------

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you,

begin with a good greeting.

* Meet him with a cheerful face.

* Beautify and perfume yourself.

* Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested.

* Receive him with loving and yearning sentences.

* Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time.

2- Beautify and Soften the Voice

--------------------------------

* For your husband only, it shouldn't be used in front of non-mahram men

(men who can marry you if you were unmarried).

3- Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

--------------------------------------------

* Taking good care of your body and fitness.

* Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes.

* Bath regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces

or bad smells.

* Avoide that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape.

* Avoide prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tatoo.

* Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes.

* Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time.

* However with these things you should avoid excessiveness and, of course,

only act as such in front of mahrem men and women.

4- Intercourse

--------------

* Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it.

* Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning

yourself of released fluids during intercourse.

* Exchange loving phrases with your husband.

* Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire.

* Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband,

and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after returning from a

travel, weekends, etc.

5- Satisfaction With What Allah (SWT) Has Allotted

--------------------------------------------------

* You shouldn't be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a

simple job.

* You should look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember

Allah (SWT) for all that was given to you.

* You should remember that real wealth lays in Iman and piety.

6- Indifference to Worldly Things

---------------------------------

* You should not consider this world as your hope and interest.

* You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things.

* Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible

(Halal), but it means that one should look forward to the hereafter and

utilize whatever Allah SWT gave them to achieve paradise (Jannah).

* Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order

to give charity and feed poor and needy people.

7- Appreciation

---------------

* By the saying of the prophet, the majority of people in hell were women

because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them.

* The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and

will do his best to please you in more ways.

* The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be dissappointed

and will start asking himself: Why should I do good to her, if she never

appreciates?

8- Devotion and Loyalty

-----------------------

* In particular in times of calamities in your husband's body or business,

e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy

* Supporting him through your own work, money, and properties if needed.

9- Compliance to Him

--------------------

* In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited (Haram).

* In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his

support and consultant.

10-Pleasing Him If He Is Angry

------------------------------

* First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger.

* But if it happens that you can't, then try to appease him as follows:

1- If you mistaken, then apologize.

2- If he mistaken then:

# Keep still instead of arguing or

# Yield you right or

# Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully

with him.

3- If he was angry because of external reasons then:

# Keeping silent untill his anger goes

# Find execuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, some one

insulted him

# Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened,

e.g. 1) You should tell me what happened? 2) I must know what

made you so angry. 3) You are hidding something, and I have the

right to know

11-Guardianship While He is Absent

----------------------------------

* Protecting yourself from any prohibited relations.

* Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things

that the husbands don't like other people to know.

* Take care of the house and children.

* Takecare of his money and properties.

* Do not go out of your house without his permission and put on full

hijab.

* Refuse people whom he does not like to come over.

* Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place.

* Be good with his parents and relatives in his absence.

12- Showing Respect for his Family and Friends

----------------------------------------------

* You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his

parents.

* You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives.

* You should avoid putting him is a position where he had to choose

between his mother and his wife.

* Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to

sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.

* Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home.

* Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for

them, support them in calamities, etc..

13- Admirable Jealousy

----------------------

* Jealousy is a sign for wife's love for her husband but it should be kept

within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulating or backbiting others,

disrespecting them, etc..

* You should not follow or create unfounded doubts.

14-Patience and Emotional Support

---------------------------------

* Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances.

* When you face calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your

hsubandh, your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases,

accidents, death, etc.

* When facing hardships in Da'wah (imprisonment, getting fired, arrested,

etc.), be patient and encourage him to keep on the path of Allah and

remind him of paradise.

* When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment

15- Support in Obedience to Allah, Da'wah and Jihad

----------------------------------------------------

* Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory

and voluntary worships.

* Encourage him to pray at night.

* Listen and reciting the Qur'an individually and with your husband.

* Listen to Islamic tapes and songs individually and with your husband.

* Remember Allah SWT much, particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib.

* Share in arranging Da'wah activities for women and children.

* Learn Islamic rules (ahkam) and good manners ('adab) for women.

* Support your husband's activities by encouraging him, offering wise

opinions, soothing his pains, etc.

* Yielding some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband

for Da'wah.

* Encourage him to go for Jihad when needed and remind him that you and

children will be in the preservation of Allah SWT.

16-Good Housekeeping

--------------------

* Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged.

* Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom.

* Perfect of food and prepare healthy foods.

* Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing.

* Learn how to raise children properly and in an Islamic way.

17-Preservation of Finances and the Family

------------------------------------------

* Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission

unless you are sure that he agrees on this.

* Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.

* Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of

their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc. Teach them Islam

and tell them the stories of the Prophets and companions.

Finally, please make Du'a for the writer; Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed,

for the translator brother Abu Talhah, and for the reviewer,

brother Adam Qurashi. Remember this is not a perfect translation so

forgive us our faults and correct our errors.

Muslim Students' Association

University of Alberta

Edmonton, Canada

February, 1999

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